chapter 01
We get off to a slow start in Leviticus. Our top Levite Aaron is in charge of the barbeque for the Lord, he has to wear his heavy clown suit, slaughter animals and prepare the food for Lord Moses. The Lord explains the barbecue rituals once again. How to slaughter the various creatures.
Vs. 4: He shall lay his hand upon the head of the burnt offering … 5. The bull shall be slaughtered before the Lord; … the priests shall offer the blood…EQ.
And where the blood has to be thrown. The horns of the alter for certain on account this is holy. Washing methods are repeated. Burning regulations are also repeated.
Sheep had slightly different blood throwing and burning than a cow and a bird was different again.
A bird gotta have its head pinched off. And the whole thing is burnt. The Lord liked having birds killed before him and burnt on the holy fire on the holy alter. It is most holy.
All this burning served two purposes. The Lord loved the smell of burning animals. Napalm. Blood. Death. And if you burnt what you didn't eat, you wouldn't have as many wild dogs and screeching vultures ripping up your fly infested camp.
Everyone likes a nice fire.
chapter 02
For the other food groups, for a priest cannot live by meat alone, there were rules and standards and methods of preparation. To keep eating a holy event, burn a bit of everything brought by the Lord’s servants. The obedient multitude.
Man. I, your ever-humble narrator, can see the temptation to be Moses. Unless you are aware of love. Aware of evolution. Aware of the future of the gods. Aware that there is also woman. The rest of life. But that aside. Fuck. He was a God of luxury and decadence. Every one loathed him but what the fuck. He could rape who ever whenever he wanted. He was the Lord God. He could kill them and fuck them dead.
Maybe he didn't.
Let’s not speculate, let’s remember this: Don't burn any of the honey. There isn't enough to waist.
Let’s question the actions of these primates since we have a little time before anything spectacular happens in this story. Leviticus contains many basic rules of conduct that don’t, or at least shouldn’t, apply to us, the somewhat enlightened primates, anymore.
One thing we could note is the importance of the fire. It was always burning. The cloud of smoke was a symbol for the primates. At night they could see the fire in it. The fire received a portion of all their food, except honey. In reverence to the Lord, perhaps. But, take a look at a few hundred thousand years of the primate’s history. And it is clear that there is a reverence to fire.
Simply put. Fire worship. Very understandable.
It wasn’t as simple as that for the Israelites, of course, there was the cattle horns and thunder and Moses with his clown priests. But fire greatly changed the holy primate’s life. It changed the diet in a big way. That change the variety of nutrition the primates ate. They grew stronger and grew a bigger brain. It accelerated the primates’ evolution in many ways. Including the evolution of language and technology. The fire worshippers took over the bloody world.
To date, we are the first and only animal to embrace fire. Fire has made us what we are. Without it, without our love for it, we likely would have remained a very insignificant creature on this planet.
Instead, with it, we are on our way to becoming the gods that will venture from their home planet to take life to who knows how much of the rest of the universe.
chapter 03
More splashing of blood on the holy alter and burning of animal parts and fat on the fire of the holy horned alter. A cloud by day and a fire by night.
Making that pleasing burning smell to the Lord.
Salt. Don't forget to include salt with offerings. Not everything was turned to smoke. Much of it was eaten.
Vs. 3: as an offering by fire, to the Lord, EQ.
Vs. 5: Aaron’s sons shall turn these into smoke on the alter, with the burnt offering which is upon the wood that is on the fire, as an offering by fire, of pleasing odor to the Lord. EQ.
Vs. 9: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.
Vs. 11: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.
Vs. 14: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.
Vs. 16: as offering by fire, of pleasing odor.
All fat is the Lord’s. 17. It is law for all time throughout the ages in all your settlements: you must not eat any fat or any blood. EQ.
All fat is the Lord’s and it is to be burnt on the fire.
chapter 04
More fire and blood rituals. The holy fire and blood cult. How and when to slaughter a bull, an ox and a goat. To pay for sins.
A sin or guilt offering to cleans one of a sin, such as raping your neighbor's eleven year old son, requires the splashing of blood onto the horns of the alter. Seven times.
Herders. Flockers. Blood rituals. Fire rituals.
3 or 6 million simi-obedient slaves with 6 or 42 million cows, goats and sheep.
Making bloody burnt offerings on an alter with horns.
Vs. 3: If it is the anointed priest who has incurred guilt … a bull EQ.
Vs. 4: The bull shall be slaughtered before the Lord, EQ.
Vs. 6: The priest shall dip his finger in the blood, and sprinkle the blood seven times before the Lord, in front of the curtain of the Shrine. EQ.
Holy slaughter, holy blood sprinkling on holy Shrine.
Vs. 8: He shall remove the fat EQ.
Vs 9: the two kidneys. EQ.
And a few other parts for the fire. There are some parts that are to be taken out of camp and put to the fire.
Of course this burning of animal parts that are not eaten helps reduce vermin and vultures. Not everything is ritual. Our ancestors were not only murdering maniacs.
Vs. 13: If the whole congregation of Israel. EQ.
Also a bull with same procedures.
Vs. 22: In case it is a chieftain EQ.
Then a male goat. In the case of any other person, a female goat.
And these offering will be the price for guilt.
Vs. 35: over the Lord’s offering by fire. EQ.
chapter 5
The people under Lord Moses must pay for their sins. Like in the Catholic church, which is a daughter company of the Jewish synagogue. Each sin has its own price.
Examples for sins: robbery, defrauding, lying about things you find or steal, swearing falsely. The fuckin' cunt fucked my fuckin’ nigger. For example. One should rather say: the wife I have abused and neglected had sex with the man I have chosen to be my slave. He is a black man from Africa. I bought him at a fair price.
Payment for sin is flexible as long as there is payment.
A bull for those that got 'em. Sheep. Goats. Doves. Pigeons.
A sack of flour.
Or cash. As in silver.
To be on the safe side, bring an offering often. For all are sinners and the Priests like to eat. All offerings belong to the priests and the priests forgive sinners for the right price.
Pay for your sins. For standard prices for standard sins, refer to the book of Leviticus. If in doubt, just bring the priests silver and gold. Most accept credit cards and bank drafts.
Vs. 26: The priests shall make expiation on his behalf before the Lord, and he shall be forgiven for whatever he may have done to draw blame thereby. EQ.
chapter 6
vs. 2: This is the ritual of the burnt offering: EQ.
vs. 5: The fire on the alter shall be kept burning, not to go out: EQ.
vs. 6: A perpetual fire shall be kept burning on the alter, not to go out. EQ.
Holy fuckin' fire worshiping bloody cow cult.
Give me load rock 'n' roll.
This chapter is again how and when to slaughter and burn animals on the horned alter to the Lord of spilt blood and burning animal parts.
Aaron and his high and most holy sons can eat it. Forever. All the sons of sons are holy 'cause they eat holy meat that has been roasted on the holy fire. And it has been written that it is so. And thus it is so. Unless someone writes that it is no longer so. And guess what, it has been written that it is no longer so. Can you guess who spoke such a blasphemy.
Women are not holy.
Vs. 11: Only the males… EQ.
Vs. 22: Only the males in the priestly line may eat of it: it is most holy. EQ.
More explaining about the splashing of blood and where to eat. What's holy. Fire blood. Blood slaughter. Fire. Most holy.
Mad fuckin' primates attempting to make a name for them selves by declaring that every shit they make is holy.
Holy shit, are we bloody holy.
Which unholy lot do we kill next. Plunder their wealth.
Read on. Find out.
chapter 07
vs. 1: This is the ritual of the guilt offering, it is most holy. EQ.
Now the bloody guilt offering ritual. It is most holy like all bloody rituals. Slaughter the domestic beast, dash blood on the golden, horned alter. Burn all but the tender flesh.
Vs. 6: Only the males in the priestly line may eat of it; it shall be eaten in the sacred precinct: it is most holy. EQ.
So that includes the males, and only the males of the priestly line. In case anyone missed whom the priestly line is, Leviticus, Levite, Aaron. And the bastard children, sons, of Lord Moses.
And if you are still having trouble understanding the original, holy means evil. Depraved. Myopic. Vile. Deceptive. And this unfortunate backwards meaning has held out thousands of years undetected with but a few aware of the paradox.
Guilt offerings are like sin offerings. Same bloody rules.
The priest can keep whatever they like such as the skin, leather. Offerings can also be backed.
If any fucker ain't a Levite and touches the meat of the Priests or if a Priest is unclean.
Vs. 20: But the person who, in a state of uncleanness, eats flesh from the Lord’s sacrifices of well-being, that person shall be cut off from his kin. EQ.
Kill the sucker. Spare the sword, spoil the hoard.
These laws of Moses, let’s be realistic for a sentence, the laws of Moses were written by a bunch of fat bald head lunatics in their palaces, or something of that nature, with intent to plant a mind virus of mute obedience into an evolving animal that they wanted to hold down as a slave culture, the grand joke of Babylon, are made forever.
Unless the laws are found to be lacking and thereupon revoked.
Under the authority of Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh. I will be what I will be. I will be a god in the company of gods. A creature of awareness.
The laws of Moses are hereby revoked.
chapter 8
For anyone reading the Bloody Holy Torah for the first time, it may seem fuckin' mad. And painfully tedious.
Well, it is. Mad fucking random rituals by insane primates on a demented power trip. Told over and over. Obey.
So on we plow through it, hoping to expose it for what it is so that we can finally reject it and build a new Babylon. Without tyrants or slaves.
“Son, when you grow up, you will learn that the world is run by mad tyrants. They are the owners. The warlords, the landlords, the drug lords, the media lords, the patent lords, the priests and lawyers. They will bombard you with random rituals and laws and lies that they defend with military might. Anyone caught in contradiction will be cut off from his kin.”
“Cool. Sounds like a nearly impossible game. How many lives do I get.”
“There is no limit.”
Moses dressed his officers, priests, up in their holy clown suits. The seven-day ordination ritual that we’ve been through, at least once, was repeated. Verbatim. Give or take a few words.
Moses oiled the tabernacle. Made it slippery, thus holy.
Slaughtered a domesticated beast and threw blood on his gold alter. Consecration.
Then another slaughter, ordination this time. Which required the blood smearing on Aaron and sons.
Right ear, thumb, big toe.
Some more theater, then oil and blood were smeared over Aaron and his sons. Thus he consecrated Aaron, sons and their dressing gowns.
To make sure everything was holy, the priests had to stay in the orgy tent seven days. Or be slaughter like a ram.
Vs. 35: You shall remain at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting day and night for seven days, keeping the Lord’s charge – that you may not die – for so I have been commanded. EQ.
“Moses, you are a fucking asshole. What is your problem with Aaron that you must torture him and his sons.”
“It’s fun. And he dared to question my authority making a golden calf. Everyone must learn not to question authority. Else they may reach out and take from the tree of life and live forever.”
“Well, I hope we can finally relinquish this depraved game now that it has been our theater of hell for several thousand years.”
“You’re the man. You tell us.”
Moses. The stereotypical inbred bastard most high priest over lord character must die. All holy dictators and priests must die. The evil pricks.
“Can I say that.”
chapter 9
Slaughter, slaughter. I fuck your sons and fuck your daughters. I splash blood all around till blood covers the ground.
More of the same. Aaron and sons, sweating in their holy suits before millions of spectators. Blood splashing. Moses makes a great show for the people.
Vs. 24: Fire came forth from before the Lord and consumed the burnt offering and the fat parts on the alter. And all the people saw, and shouted, and fell on their faces. EQ.
Moses makes a grand horror show. Scares the shit out of everyone and they all bow to the prick, trembling with fear.
chapter 10
This chapter pisses off your narrator like no other. There are certainly those who interpret this story differently but your narrator sees it as a brutal, hateful and vengeful murder of Aaron’s two sons by the bastard Lord Moses. It is typical of the savanna’s king of the beast, the Lion, to kill offspring that are not his, then make his own. And the human ape is that great mimic maniac. And to add to the blasphemy, your narrator proposes that the other two sons of Aaron were children of Moses. Through rape. Moses wields his misplaced self-appointed god power over Aaron to terrorize him.
Nadab and Abihn fucked up the burning of incense and the Lord sent a fire to kill 'em. It is necessary to remember that Moses is the lord. King of the Beasts.
vs. 3: Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what the Lord meant when He said:
"Through those near to Me I show Myself holy,
And gain glory before all the people
And Aaron was silent. EQ.
Aaron shut his mouth. He was struck dumb by the open murder of his two sons. Lord Moses, the mad killer ape, was in a position of God Almighty. And like it so often is, he was an evil tyrant. A vicious murderer. The story is not new. Not original. And most certainly, not at all holy. Unless holy means mad murdering ape.
Vs 10: for you must distinguish between the sacred and the profane. EQ.
And this, my readers, this Holy Bloody Torah is the profane.
So mega prick cold blooded lizard Moses hisses out orders to his not yet murdered nephews, sons maybe, Mishael and Eleaphan to throw the bodies outside the camp for the vultures and vermin. He, Lord Moses, forbid Aaron, Mishael and Eleaphan to show any sign of sorrow and confined them then to the tent of meeting. Under penalty of death. And everyone else, the three or six million slaves, were to bewail the Lord's wrath.
So they did. For they had learned that it was better to wail when told to wail then eat a swinging sword.
Moses made a no drinking rule for the tent of meeting to avoid drunken priests playing with explosives.
Or die.
After that, a couple more random rituals and a decree or two to be obeyed forever.
Or die.
chapter 11
Health Rules:
For wandering armies and their families where there are no hospitals, little water, back of the barn conditions, as in piles of shit. They had it better in Egypt. They hadn’t gained a bit of freedom. From one dictator to the next.
Alas, they chose one lie over another and were left in the desert to rot.
But before we get to what's coming in 13, let's stick to the menu. Don't eat camels, damens, hares, pigs, eagles, vultures and a list of other birds. Most of it made sense in the hot desert. No birds of prey. Some bugs are okay, such as locusts, and grasshoppers.
Most of the lizard creatures. Not okay.
Bottom feeders. Not okay.
Fins and scales. Okay.
The information in this chapter isn't too far off the mark still. And now, as well as the health risks, meat mania is costing the planet its last rain forests. And that is not only criminally insane, it is suicidal.
Moses thought, or wanted people to believe he thought, he was the voice of God.
He explained that the Lord was holy and rules are made 'cause without rules, there wouldn't be any.
God.
Vs. 44: For I the Lord am your God: you shall sanctify yourself and be holy, for I am holy. EQ.
A holy murdering, lying bastard.
Vs. 45: For I the Lord am He who brought you up from the land of Egypt to be your God: you shall be holy, for I am holy. EQ.
And for anyone who still doesn’t think Moses has made himself Lord God Almighty over the Israelites, you are holy daft.
chapter 12
Moses was a woman hater.
The metal age changed our perspective of the world. Before the metal age, women mattered. It was a man's job to help them make and keep babies alive. They, we, had many gods. For almost all the elements.
The metal age, which was the unruly child of the fire age, was quickly a war against personal freedom and women.
Lord Moses declares that a woman is unclean seven days if she has a male. From her womb. On the eighth day, the baby gets his foreskin cut off. Bit of blood here and there. Ritual.
Thirty-three days the woman is unclean. She can't go to synagogue. Or whatever Moses called his big tent.
And.
If the bitch has the nerve to bare a female, she will be unclean 66 days.
And when she is done being unclean, she can pay her child tax. Sheep. Doves.
Then the priest can make her clean.
In the eyes of the Lord.
Jack Ass.
chapter 13
How to diagnose leprosy. If you are a priest and doctors haven’t been invented yet.
If someone got open festering wounds or shit that looks like leprosy, that person gotta see a priest. So the priest can pronounce him unclean.
Unclean lepers gotta go outside of camp.
Here's a cool disclaimer. If your entire body is covered in white death. You are clean. Pure 'cause you are white. Sure, you are likely also dead in that case 'cause you ain't got no skin no more. But you can hang out with the kids.
Scare the living shit out of them.
The original text goes into great gory detail about festering abnormalities on and in the skin.
It's all right for a man to go bald. It ain't leprous if it ain't got no eruptions and shit. And like we said, leprous primates leave camp and wait to die wandering around with other leprous primates. Scrounging for food with crippled fingers. Being eaten alive by rats.
Vs. 45: As for the person with a leprous affection his clothes shall be rent, his head shall be left bare and he shall cover his upper lip; and he shall call out, “Unclean! Unclean!” 46. He shall be unclean as long as the disease is on him. Being unclean, he shall dwell apart; his dwelling shall be outside the camp. EQ.
Fuck 'em.
God must nota liked them. They did a sin.
Spend your resources on war and priestly depravity. For God's sake, don't take responsibility for the learning of a disease and the finding of a cure.
No fuck wit. Believer.
Make some more laws and weapons. Science and medicine are in opposition to keeping your bloody fingers from the tree of knowledge.
chapter 14
The handling of Lepers.
Vs. 2: This shall be the ritual for a leper at the time that he is to be cleansed. EQ.
If a Leper ain't a Leper no more. Or he wasn't. He can be cleaned with the blood of a bird. Mix in water. Add live bird. Sprinkle bloody water seven times on x-Leper. Set the live bird free. Wash clothes. Shave off all hair. Leper takes a bath.
This should work. Bloody well should if the Lord told Moses to say so.
Don't go in your tent seven days.
Shave again and give the priest a lamb or two to be slaughtered for your guilt, sin and whatever. Do the blood on right ear, thumb, toe; jump up, spit in the air, spin around and scream.
"Moses is a fuckin' asshole."
And just a reminder, Moses likely never really existed. He is part of our character sketch. You, me, them. It is part of how we are. To be just a little optimistic. Were.
vs. 34: When you enter the land of Canaan that I give you... and I inflict an eruptive plague upon a house in the land you posses… EQ.
Some rules for weird growths in the house. Similar to everything else. Drop the shit outside the city. Replaster. Slaughter a bird, add water, dip another bird in it, set the bloody not dead bird free and sprinkle bloody water on the house seven times. That should fix it.
Sprinkle blood on everything to make it clean and pure.
The most important thing is: have many rituals that are bloody holy and stay bloody ignorant sheep, goat and cattle herders forever.
chapter 15
vs. 2: When any man has a discharge issuing from his member, he is unclean. EQ.
Clean everything and everyone he touches or spits on.
"Watch out. Here comes Billy with his drippy penis. He's spitting on everyone."
If Billy spits on or in or pisses on or in or even touches a clay pot, break it. And grab up some birds to slaughter. Sin offering time.
If sperm comes out of a man's penis, he gotta take a bath and he is unclean till morning. Sorry. Evening.
If he fucks his wife or slave, they both gotta take a bath.
When a woman bleeds out her vagina, she is impure. Seven days. The man can touch her but then he is unclean till evening. And no sex during bleeding from vagina, just forget it. Not permitted. Touch for the agreed taxes to the priests but don’t fuck.
Kill a bird and burn it. Or two.
"I'll kill any fucker who don't obey."
And don’t forget, God, the Lord God Almighty said, do not take from the tree of knowledge, for if you do, this will all seem bloody fucking idiotic.
And you may forget to believe and forget to obey and forget to follow and forget to pay.
chapter 16
It wasn't enough to dictate his laws to everyone; he made certain that brother Aaron was kept in his place. Servant slave to Lord Moses.
Moses made Aaron into a clown to commemorate the killing of his sons. Slaughtering animals, walking backwards with a dress and pumps on.
Aaron shall do this. Aaron shall do that.
"Go fuck yourself, Moses, you murdering bastard. You are not Lord God Almighty, you are a megalomaniac inbred sorry prick."
"I'll cut your fuckin' head off and fuck your bleeding throat. And do the same to all your son’s sons if you don't fuckin' dance."
So Aaron slaughtered animals and threw their blood around. Wishing Lord Moses would get blasted by an anti matter lazar.
Alas, we're still working on that one.
So purge one thing and another with blood. Purge the holy Shrine. Kill a goat, kill a bull. Spill out the blood till the alter is full.
Then drain it and do it again.
Put all the people's sins on the head of a goat and send it off into the wilderness.
Every mad notion is made law. Forever.
Or die a brutal death.
And some days you weren't permitted no sex.
The tyrants call themselves the voice of God and swing a big sword.
And take their idiot army off to war.
To rape, pillage and murder.
The scariest thing about this horror story is that except for God, some of this shit happens somewhere all the time. Luckily not nearly as much as it did. But all hatred must be erased so that we can start terra forming Mars, and this is not meant as a joke. The Moon needs to be settled as well. To start making very big star ships. Earth is also in danger of asteroids and we must work on the technology to divert any heading toward us. The last one misses us by only 6 hours. That is bloody close. And we already have the means to divert asteroids.
And shut down Monsanto. Stop giving fish antibiotics. And chickens and cattle. In short, stop the suicidal tendencies and fight for survival rather than against it. There is no time to wait.
chapter 17
More rules about slaughtering animals. All animals gotta go past the Moses police priests. Half a million a day. Showing up to have some blood splashed on the horned alter and fat in the burning fat pit, filling the sky with fire and heavy smoke.
No sacrificing to the goat-demons.
Vs. 7: and that they may offer their sacrifices no more to the goat-demons after whom they stray. This shall be to them a law for all times, throughout the ages. EQ.
Any burnt offering not brought to the tent of Lord Moses was penalized with death.
Anyone, as mentioned several times already, drinking blood, would be killed.
Vs. 14: anyone who partakes of it shall be cut off. EQ.
Chop off his head.
And if you eat an animal that has died or been torn by beasts, you gotta take a bath.
chapter 18
Now the incest rules.
Vs. 2: I the Lord am your God. 3. You shall not copy the practices of the land of Egypt where you dwelt, or of the land of Canaan to which I am taking you; nor shall you follow their laws. 4. My rules alone shall you observe, and faithfully follow My laws; I the Lord am your God. EQ.
"I am the Lord. Do as I say of I kill you."
Obey no other. Only the laws of Megalomaniac Moses.
Mr. Inbred handed out the laws of who not to get naked with. Fuck.
Don't fuck your mom. Or your sister. Aunt. Uncle. Sister-in-law. Daughter-in-law.
Don't fuck a woman on her period.
Don't offer your kids to Molech. This was a practice in Canaan. Rumor has it.
Don't fuck a man if you are a man. And don't fuck animals.
All these horrible things are done in the land we are going to destroy.
I am the Lord your God and will kill anyone, except my self and selected priests and the ruling class, if I think you ain't obeying what I'm saying.
chapter 19
You shall be bloody holy, for I, the Lord your God, am bloody holy.
Obey and honor mom and dad. Even if they are idiots.
Don't make idols or molten gods.
Eat meat how and when I tell you. Or I kill you.
Don't lie, cheat and steal. Don't fuckin' swear with my name.
"Moses is a cunt."
You shan't hate your kinsfolk. Love your fellow as yourself.
Obey only me.
Fucking a slave ain't a death sentence but it cost one ram. Payable to the priest on duty.
At the brothel.
More food rules.
Not only is Lord Moses a fuckin' bastard asshole, he's bloody tedious.
Don't sell your daughter as a whore. Your wife sure, long as she's paid a king's ransom. Say she’s your sister.
Don't slice yourself up. What they, some people, did to show sorrow for dead loved ones.
On and on he rambles.
At the end of every paragraph. Breath.
Moses says to the people.
I the Lord am your God. Believe it or I will cut you down with the metal law.
The sharp edge.
I, your narrator, have never read any of Coles Notes, but I think they were something like this edition of the Torah. Take the story and boil it down to the minimum. Of course, here you are likely to run into some subjective comments.
Reading the Torah can be frustratingly tedious.
Don’t give up, especially if you are a Jew or a Christian or even a Moslem, for two reasons. Moses made it law to read the Torah every 7 years. That law comes near the end of his life. And the other reason, western religions, even all the variations, are based, founded on, the Torah.
And there are some nice slaughters still to come. In Canaanite country. The land that was cursed by Noah because his son saw him jacking off.
chapter 20
Molech is often symbolized as an owl. There are representations of this character as something a little more like a big cow or goat with horns and it stands upright or sits upright and its belly is a furnace where the children are passed through the fire. The culty men’s club of the ruling class in America are big on this evil god figure. They tend more toward the owl symbol. The pentagram is often attributed to Molech. As is the pentagon.
Alas, all cults and religions tend toward evil. It is the nature of the beast. The primate dictator ruling class thieves. Evil is simply backwards to live. The making of many mad rituals and laws is evil desire to enslave the many for the benefit of the few.
Anyone worshipping Molech would be cut off from his kin.
Pelt the fucker with stones till the fucker became a pile of bones, mince meat and our favorite.
Blood.
If the people didn't report those who Molech revered. Revered Molech. Moses, the Lord would kill him and all his family. Which seems fair enough.
Spoil the hoard if you spare the sword.
If you have sex with another's spouse. Both are put to death.
Fuck any of your dad's wives.
Put to death.
We had this didn't we. A few times.
No daughter-in-law. No man boy. Man beast. Woman beast. Man woman on period.
Put to death.
Moses has a point of course. With 3 or 6 million idiots in the wilderness, fuckin' around is dangerous because venereal disease could wipe them out. Not everything he said was insane. Just much of it has become very outdated. And so has Molech. So drop the both of them and try something better.
chapter 21
Oddly enough. The Priests must marry inside the family. And the 12 year old cousin must be a virgin. And have nice tits and a hot ass.
Vs. 9: When the daughter of a priest defiles herself through harlotry, it is her father whom she defiles; she shall be put to the fire. EQ.
Was that Moses or Molech. Both are fire cults.
No priest can have a defect. Priests with defects such as being blind, lame, one leg longer than the other, broken leg or arm, hunchback, dwarf, growth in eye, boil-scar, or crushed testes.
Broken balls.
He can eat but he is restricted to where he can go and what he can do.
Sounds a little like Hitler’s idea of only breeding healthy blonds. The rest were burnt. Sent to camp.
Crazy creeds held us down with fear and hate.
Made us think the beginning was too late.
The world as we know it has come to an end.
Time has come to make your enemy your friend.
Alas we stray from our dear friend, Lord Moses.
chapter 22
Moses. Moses. Moses.
Vs. 33: I who brought you out of Egypt to be your God, I the Lord. EQ.
What the fuck was wrong with you. Why fear and loathing in all that you do.
The eating of blood offerings is spelled out once again.
Here is where the perceptive reader of the original Torah. The Holy Scriptures. The new JPS Translation. According to the Traditional Hebrew Text, might wonder.
Is the story some kind of computer generated, early computer, horror story. With but one parameter. Change the names and surroundings from book to book and the reader might believe it's a real story. Wait till we get to Numbers. Which could also be called, Names.
It's not real. No matter how many names and laws and how bloody tedious.
It's simply mind fuck. Something to piss off people like your narrator.
We will carry on. However.
The same rules about imperfection applies to animals as to priests.
Which means they don't crush the balls of their animals.
A concept that could be wondered about.
chapter 23
There is the odd interesting idea in the bible. My intention was to encourage people to read the bloody book. If you read carefully, you can picture the brutal reality behind the story. Also see it is not holy. Just another story from another time. Not so very long ago.
It was a hard world. War was how they lived. Now more people die in cars than war. If you don’t count starvation which could be classified as a state of war.
Vs. 29: Indeed, any person who does not practice self-denial throughout that day shall be cult off from his kin; EQ.
So, if you masturbate on the Sabbath you are dead meat. From severed head to bloody feet.
Moses gives out a few religious holidays. Like happy murder every first born Egyptian day. Still celebrated more than 2000 years after Christ, the fellow who told us that the laws of Moses were revoked. Said a few clever things, that Jesus Christ.
Lord Moses passed on a few more tax laws. Made them forever. But he thought forever was 3 or 4 thousand years. Back then they thought the world was a couple thousand years old. A little event just for us. We are wiser now.
We will no longer celebrate the murder of others. We will stop glamorizing hate and fear. We will stop blaming the other guy because the whole fuckin' bunch of us have been ignorant servants.
And again. If you don't do what Lord fuckin' asshole says.
Off with your fuckin' head.
All citizens of Israel shall live in booths. Seven days a year. Booth is like tabernacle. In the sense of tent.
For ever.
Under penalty of a swinging sword in your head.
chapter 24
We must let go of our personal obsessions with all religions and cults before we embark on space. It is one thing to have a desire for connection and belonging but our belief systems are too mentally restrictive. And the notion that without religion we are alone in a cold and brutal universe is also not yet proven. We are still evolving and don’t know what our expanded consciousness will give us. Instead of belonging to a belief system, we can work toward being the gods. Break down the walls that have convinced us we are individuals and learn to be a social creature as our nature, our evolution has made us. It can be done without creeds, rituals and laws. Laws that matter are laws of physics and laws of survival. We belong to the rest of life. We belong to the rest of the physical universe and there is much more to it than the combination of all our creeds. We need to grow up just a little. Not so much that we are no longer children but we do need to get off the tit of belief. Stop holding onto our fairy tales like security blankets. Read them, learn from them but do not believe in them.
Blasphemy was a bloody death wish.
Someone past blasphemy over on Shelomith. Who’s she. Anyone. Doesn’t matter. Maybe he, the someone, called her a silly cunt. Or said she sucked the dirty dick of Moses. Fucked a priest before the alter.
The people who hear someone blaspheme must, under penalty of death, take the fucker outside of camp and beat the shit out of him.
Then stone him.
The whole community shall stone him.
Vs. 14: Take the blasphemer outside the camp; and let all who were within hearing lay their hands upon his head, and let the whole community stone him. EQ.
That was a holy law. From Lord Moses. Forever.
So the Israelites obeyed Moses and when they didn't like someone for any reason, beat the shit out of him and stone him to death.
It is, after all, the only real civilized thing to do.
If you are an insane, enslaved, idiot primate.
Vs. 20: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. EQ.
But when it comes to blasphemy. Kill the fucker.
chapter 25
Good-bye yellow brick road.
More yapping about rules. Here's a funny one. Unless you are trying to rest that day. vs. 9: Then you shall sound the horn loud; EQ.. Through out the land. That’s the every 50 year party. Redemption for many things.
Then Lord Moses goes over agricultural rules.
For the land is Mine.
The rules about buying, selling and owning dwellings.
And then we get to who can be a slave. You can make other Israelites work for you to pay debts, but you can't make them your slaves.
Vs. 44: it is from nations round about you that you may acquire male and female slaves. You may also buy them from among the children of the aliens resident among you. EQ.
You can pass slaves on to your children. For all time. You can enslave who ever you wish. Not Israelites, naturally. Forever. Under my authority.
Said Captain Moses. The snake prick.
For it is Me who is God. You obey me.
Vs. 55: For it is to Me that the Israelites are servants; they are My servants, whom I freed from the land of Egypt, I the Lord your God. EQ.
chapter 26
No fuckin' idols or I kill you.
Ah yes. chapter 26 is a hit. Well worth reading the original, and as always, the Jewish Publication Society translation of the Torah is the recommended version.
Obey me, your Lord God, and I'll control the weather to your advantage. I will grant peace on your land. No sword or beast will come upon your land. You will have such superior weapons that a hundred Israelites will cut down ten thousand not Israelites. The enemy.
And once again, the nicest promise of all. Countless descendants.
vs. 12: I will be your God. EQ.
But.
If you refuse to obey all my laws.
I will fuck you up big time.
I will wreak misery upon you, sickness; your enemy will eat your crops. Your enemies will cut you down.
If you refuse to obey me, I will punish you seven fold. I will send wild beasts. To rob your children and livestock. I will send pestilence. You will eat your own children. I will heap your carcasses upon your idols.
I will lay your cities to waist. And your land.
And I will scatter you around the world.
This Moses would have learned from his private teachers. Back when he was living in the palace. He had time and opportunity to be taught a few books on war.
Which, for the casual observer, made him a prophet. A dictator prophet. Constructing the future for a bunch of slaves so that they would carry on forever.
For he would not forget his promise to Jacob, Isaac and Abraham.
Follow my war strategy and we will fuck over the world.
Of course, no one really wants the world fucked over.
So I, your narrator, suggest that we lay down our religions. Abandon the Babylonian dream of holy dictator new world order.
No holy land or city.
And ask one another to forgive one another. Especially the men.
For obeying mad megalomaniacs.
And try something new.
Such as a world space cooperative and an end to war and the abuse of finite resources and lives.
Awaken. We are the closest thing there is to the gods.
chapter 27
Well, this 'bout raps it up for Leviticus. Not for Lord Moses. We ain't rid of the fucker yet.
Moses explains what the price difference is for various types of humans. Something to do with redemption taxes. Males are twice that of females. The young ones are cheep 'cause they gotta be fed till they are strong enough to bring in any decent amount of cotton. Or rice. Or sheep.
Lord Moses passes a few more redundant meat, house and land laws.
He reminds his fan club that if you are proscribed for death.
You will die.
A horrible death.
Vs. 29: No human being who has been proscribed can be ransomed: he shall be put to death. EQ.
Ten percent of everything is the Lord's.
You will obey me.
back to exodus on to numbers
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